Dating is like a game of Russian roulette, except instead of a bullet, you’re dodging awkward silences and bad breath. But don’t worry, I’m here to give you some tips on how to survive the dating scene with your dignity (mostly) intact.
Tip #1: Don’t be afraid to let your freak flag fly…unless it’s a really weird flag
Look, we all have our quirks. Maybe you collect old Barbies or have a secret obsession with taxidermy. But if your idea of a good time involves dressing up as a clown and juggling chainsaws, maybe keep that under wraps for a little while. Stick to more socially acceptable hobbies like watching cat videos on YouTube.
Tip #2: Listen…or don’t, it’s your choice
Conversation is key on a date, but let’s face it, sometimes the other person is just plain boring. If your date is droning on about their stamp collection or their ex’s new nose job, it’s okay to tune out for a little while. Just nod and smile occasionally and they’ll think you’re the best listener since Dr. Frasier Crane.
Tip #3: Always have an escape plan
Sometimes, no matter how much you try to make it work, a date is just a disaster. Maybe your date starts talking about their collection of human skulls or insists on showing you their toenail art. In those cases, it’s best to have an exit strategy. Maybe you can fake a sudden illness or a family emergency. Or maybe you can pretend to fall asleep and hope they take the hint.
Tip #4: Be open to trying new things…unless they involve jumping out of a plane
When it comes to date activities, there’s a whole world of possibilities out there. Maybe you could go rock climbing or try your hand at pottery-making. Just make sure to steer clear of any activities that involve heights or the risk of bodily harm. No one wants to spend their date in the hospital.
Tip #5: Always have a plan B…or C…or D
Sometimes, no matter how much you prepare, a date can go off the rails. Maybe your date starts talking about their conspiracy theories or insists on taking you to a Nickelback concert. In those cases, it’s best to have a backup plan.
Hope you enjoyed the humor but for real relationship advice check out my website. Good luck out there, and remember, it’s not you, it’s them…probably.
Lanie Stevens 