“You’re Not An Option…You’re a Priority”
Do you ever see the couple that seem to be totally in love and in touch with each other? It appears that there is no one else in the world except the two of them. It’s the kind of relationship that everyone admires and wants but few know the secret to having. It isn’t that the couple love each other more than other couples do. They have the same financial struggles, child rearing problems, work difficulties, health issues and aging parents. But somehow this couple manages to stay together and become stronger, happier and more content than most couples.
The secret they have is that they have formed a “couple bubble” and no one else is part of the special bubble. Not their friends, not their relatives, not their children, not their jobs. It is only the two of them together in this bubble. Sometimes the bubble will form organically when people have the same priorities and ways they deal with stress and relationship issues. Sometimes it’s a learned behavior that requires paying attention to the relationship and giving it 100% of your effort.
How do you form the couple bubble? You must treat each other at all times with love, honesty and respect. That means that the relationship becomes your number one priority. You cannot place anyone else or anything else above your relationship! To do so would be inviting others into your sacred space. Your mate needs to feel safe, secure and loved at all times. You will learn to deal with adversity by standing by your mate rather than pushing them out of the bubble. Since they are loved and treasured, and you would never treat them as an enemy, treat they as your ally and confidante.
- Confide in your mate BEFORE anyone else! If something good or bad happens in your life they are the first person you contact.
- Don’t “win” an argument because if you do the relationship suffers. You must keep the relationship’s health at the forefront and put yourself second. If either party “wins” then the relationship “loses”.
- Deal with issues from the heart and not from a place of anger or resentment. There will be disagreements, as there are in all relationships, but you deal with them by being “kind, honest and specific”. This means you will honor your mate as well as the relationship at all times.
- You must have a willing partner! You can’t force someone to be in this bubble with you because to do so will cause it to ultimately fail. Your mate must have the same desire to make your relationship work that you do and must commit to paying attention that the bubble is never “popped”. If it is, you both are aware and immediately repair the damage before it is too late.
As a relationship expert I have written a series of books available on amazon.com and offer private email counseling through my website. Don’t wait until your relationship is in a critical stage to make necessary improvements and changes.
Lanie Stevens 